More College Football and Hockey Than a Man Can Handle

Since it looks like markets have calmed down after the past few weeks of fireworks, it's time to ruminate about football and hockey, starting with college football. You probably knew this, but there are almost a gazillion college football games on TV each week. (I know because I counted 'em.) So why do I bring this up? We just got cable. Really, just a few months ago.

Since our family managed to resist cable TV for a few decades until just now, we only got a few college games over-the-air every Saturday. "Over-the-air"? Oh, right, the vast majority of you having lived with cable all these years, probably don't remember, or maybe never even knew, that you can get TV channels without cable. Living in the New York metro area provides ample "over-the-air" channels, because reception is typically great, and with an HD antenna you don't lack for visual quality. As for programming, for those who don't mind a limited selection of sports and shows, over-the-air will do, which partially explains why I'm late to the party. Heck, if you've got limited time for TV and there's enough choice to fill those few hours, why pay those monthly cable fees fees which keep going up and up, in case you haven't noticed?

Second of all, having just discovered this, I'm faced with the dilemma of which game to watch. I can't stand constantly switching channels, so I've got to make a decision. After a few weeks of experimentation - which included lots of switching - I've concluded that you just go with the most competitive game. You know, that's the game where the score is close, the athletes are reasonably proficient at what they do, and you've got at least some modicum of interest in the teams playing, which for me covers a broad selection, not being a rabid fan of any particular team and being a Fordham U alumnus, which until recently played what they called college football, but which really was a kind of high school football on steroids. (I'm not counting the old "Seven Blocks of Granite" Fordham teams in the old days of Vince Lombardi and friends, a bit before my time.)

Okay, so none of this is news to any veteran of the cornucopia of cable college football games each week, but you have to remember that having never been exposed to this I'm like a guy from a village in the bush of Africa who just showed up at the cocktail hour of a wedding reception at the Waldorf Astoria or the Plaza Hotel. Where do I start? How much do I eat before I explode? Never mind the open bar. Can I handle it?

Well, it looks like I can handle it now. In fact, when you start to realize that unless you exercise some self-control you'll wind up like one of those couch-potato guys whose eyes and therefore whose brain just soaks up sports to the detriment of all your reason and common sense. And the thought of losing my mind for college football has forced the issue of limiting my time in front of "the tube" (an old expression for TV).

But just when I thought I had conquered the latest threat to my brain, I discover that our cable selection includes NHL hockey. Not just any NHL hockey, but New York Rangers hockey - my team. And now that the season's begun, I can see that, much more than the gazillion college football games, it's going to be Rangers hockey that threatens to suck the brains out my skull if I'm not careful. I've started reminding myself that it's totally irrational to try to make up for years of missed Rangers hockey on TV. In fact, I've taken to convincing myself that if I watch too much hockey during the regular season, my brain will be too fried to enjoy the playoffs when they start next spring.

It's started working, I think. Remembering the great run the Rangers had last year, getting to the Stanley Cup finals for the first time in I don't know how long (which is pretty long), I should be able to manage my time during the regular season if only to allow for total indulgence during the playoffs.

Of course, the season is only a few weeks old and I've still got to prove to myself that this regular season hockey self-control won't be another bout of wishful thinking like that idea of becoming a successful musician and song-writer those first few years out of college. Then again, it was fun trying at the time.

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